Buddy, I am not going to lie to you. I have been accused of exhibitionist and even vain at time. Then when people gets to know me much better, they discover how shy and introverte I am. It is one of the biggest contraction that one would find in me.
People has said to me that I have a presents. People turn around and look when I entered a room. I have also made aware just recently that when someone give me a second look it is not because there is something stock on my teeth like I thought it would be.
That is why I have developed the tunnel vision which seems to make matters worst because I do not see a friend or someone I know; therefore, I am consider pretentions. But the main reason I have developed that sort of vision is because the looks when I enter a room or when I am walking on the street were not telling me that I am someone appealing and nice to look at it. They were making me more selfconcious of my imperfections.
Funny how this has taken all my life and it was only a few years ago that I have develoed my body to the point of been asked to model. But the reality it was insecurity what motivated me to work at it and now it is the realization of the control and power I have to over my body as well as my reality.
A friend once told me after I told him that the main reason for someone to be shy and not to approach any one, is because him or her would be just worry about themselve in stead of letting the person they approaching take center stage and this way take the heat from them, he said it was easier to say than to do it.
I guess I have more than one ways to show my divinity by prooving I can conquer this as I have been able to conquer so many things before. Maybe when the looks fate a little more. I think then it would be easy. But then again, it is easy for people to make judgement on me by just looking at picture. I have been one of them at time. Ultimately my divinity shows when I when I show that I care, when I mourn with a friend when I cry for non being able to content the power of the experience. It is then that I have felt like a God.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment