You really have some interesting friends on this side, Romulo

Bussy, I know I have good friends in that side - starting with you. But what you said in todays message is very true. I have an analogie that I always tell the mother of my little brother. When things do not seem to work for you, meaning you are going through a lot of hardship, I tell her that is when I know that the good stuf coming my way is just around the conner.

Now, you gave me an idea. The relazation that I came into this weekend of being too intense therefore, this person in particular would never be interested in me even if there were not tides like the one in the present. And my sadness to the silent and not even a little bit of confort on saying that some how I meant something. That I was not this sexy guy good enough for a quicky in an afternoon in DC but a complex intesen being that would require a lot of effort to just be around him. The no confort and silent was understood. Loving someone else with that much passion would do that to a person. reason why answer to my note today about flight back was innocent maybe some guilt involve - who knows I have never was able to predict things or know what was going on in this person mind. But then again, I took an oath not to let assumption in my life any more, reason why I am so outspoken.

Not looking for any one in particular. Maybe while I was sort of involve in this for the last 2 years I was desparated for someone to show up so I could let this obsesion to go away. Now I am back to my old being. Finding singlehood a natural state in my life has always been the way I saw things. When the one that can handel complexity and intensity shows up welcome - I just do not want the other type to keep showing up, it is too much energy waisted, too much pain. But I guess I need to learn lesson - reason why they are showing up. But I did a major break through last week beside discovering that I was pushing on an impossible. I made one that it was not meant for me to stay away.

Looks aren't every thing. For a person like me who keep being judged as vain, I do not let looks to cloud my judgement on this matters.