The Universe - Jan 9th 2007

Every life is heroic, Romulo.
And yours has certainly been no exception.
With deep gratitude from the bleachers - The Universe

Thoughts become things... choose the good ones! ® © www.tut.com ®
And just wait, Romulo, until you partners that will work with meas partners!

Some how I had the feeling you will come here. I have my doubts since you never come here but this time I was certain that you will follow me here. I am glad you are here. Here is where I talk to him. Here is were I do my self examination and write how I feel about things. I used to do it via email until it was clear up to me that people should not have to endure what goes through my head those lonely nights I am by myself in some hotel room some where in this country. I do not blame any one for it. It is what I love doing and being myself sometimes from Sunday night to Thursday night is a by product of doing what I love doing for a living. Therefore, I do not blame any one. But lost of thoughts come to my mind. I then I put them down in here so I can talk to my buddy, The Universe, God, My Soul.

Yes Boston feels like a second home. I remember when I first worked there back in 2000. I remember I was going through my break up. Boston was just any other city where I travel to work. Then Malcolm shown me how beautiful the city is. Then my friendship with somone since the beginning challenged me but at the same time feed my never ending quest for knowledge invited me to visit and I get to me his wonderful friends, among them Rich, and had the most wonderful time together. Now every chance I get I go to that city. People might say I go mainly for Rich but I go also for Eddie as well as to enjoy such beautiful city that always seems to be wlecoming with open arms whenever I go there.

I remember a few months ago, I wanted to share that with you two and my invitation was taken the wrong way. I was told them that I got that first reaction because I put down one of you by saying you work in sales. I remember the first time that happens there was not way I could make you see that I was not try nor was my intetion to put down any one. I remember then saying that I love you to much to do such things. Eventhought, none would listen to me so then when I wanted to invite the two person I love so much to show the beautiful city that has become a second home I was taken the wrong way.

Mexico still home for me. I know my way aroun that city better than in Miami. Funny how I became to know that city better than any Chilango. It was when I took that assigment in that city. There is not point in me showing you why I did and how i did not meet your expectations since the night you needed me the most I fail you. I was falling sleep every where since getting used to the altitute and lack of oxigine took time. But I remember talking to my guy who skis so well and always welcome me with open arms. I told him how proud I was of my girlfriend. But to be honest, I gained more from that experience that you gain from my presents there. The city became my city. It was the first act on my part that was done base of love without any concerns that since my last international assignment in Australia, I promise myself never to venture outside the borders of my country. I also saw there one morning how the power of God works. I do not know understand why people say is a mystery since it was so clear the path he/she wanted me to follow.

I glad I got you here. because It was with what you wrote here that I saw what my wrong doing of putting you up there was doing to you. Now I can see why litlle by little as I was loosing one memeber of my real family I was putting on you more expectations by calling you my family. Until it came the time that you were the only one I came to every time I needed advice or someone to listen to me and my drama. When I said that I was your cross that you were baring, I was not joking. I was putting you up there even higher with each year that passes. I guess propostionaly the resement for me putting such expectations on you was building. That would be the only explanation for that first reaction to my invitation to Boston. I do not look down on any one that works on sales or maketing since those are the skills I am lacking for my business to be successful. I admire and recognize always intelect and great ideas. I became a better consultant when I acknowledge I do not know every thing nor I feel embarrase to say so.

I have to admit. That I push so much to be part of your family that I became the family member that every family wants to hide or feels not that proud of it. It is like they say in Spanish, after the third day of a house guess visiting; it smells worst that old fish. I was smelling like that since day one I got there. At the beginning I took comments and remarks like we were joking among ourselve. Then they started to bother me which means a bad feeling was traveling with them. Then when you first got so defensive because I was telling you to use the safe remove feature to answer to me the way you answered. Follow by what you said, about the appliance which I know you are one of the most inteligent woman I know do you realy think it was me who broke it. You two had a lot of resement built up. I am just glad that despit feeling so bad for all that was happening. I never hurt back or was misrespectful to you in your own home. I just needed to be left alone.

I was not jocking about the lesson. Beleive me, I have been in that situation so many time with friends and family. Therefore, it is a lesson that I have ot learned despit that I have been there so many time. But this time is different, this time involve you for who I care too much so this is it. This is the last time the Universe is asking me to learn not to put such expectations on people and treat them like Gods. I can go on and explain to you the roots of this but I have said it so many time that now it is hard for people to believe. But I tell you one thing, I got your email this morning following the one send by the blog with your comment. Early last night, my little borther sent me an email letter me know that he is dying to talk to me and that he is with his father, la barragana and her 2 sons some where in some mountain near Atlanta. My little borther hates to be in the same place with la barragana and her 2 song. I guess because they talk in a sarcastic way about him and always putting him down. They used to do the same thing with me. Antonio Rios listens to all the coments but does not do anything other than in a passive aggrresive way force you to be in that space if you want to share time with him. Come to think of it that was one of the main reason of my big fight with him 10 years ago. I suggested then for him to find a space where only him and Miguel Antonio can meet. He went crazy, insult me and told me that whoever wants to be with him has to meet him where he always would be (with his barragana) That he is old and he has not much left so I should respect his wishes and let him live his last years in peace. This is from a man who always lived his life the way he wanted without any concerns who he was taking within. He is well aware that Miguel Antonio does not enjoy to be in that space with him. I told him that is not love or any consideration from him. What do you think? My little brother still when because he wants to spend time with his father, he knows he does not have that many years left.

I glad you met me here.