Wicked Jan 16th 2007

Ok buddy, try to explain this to me. I could come here and try to be the other one who for more than a year thought about the role many time. But I did learn my lesson, I stood up and promise myself not to beg for the little bit of love at such high price I would have to pay for it. So I cross the country because when I talked to my Milton that night, I could not go another year not seem this incredible group of people.

Now this person came out of the blue and started hitting on me. I guess it was pride that made me agree to meet with this person. They were all going nuts for the look. I guess that was a bad start and reason why I end up going through what I went through.

I had a incredible time. Dinner and conversation were estimulating and enjoyable. But I could not possible call this person later tonight like I was asked. It is not the fact of playing the other one and when I made the commet with Denver. We were in agreement that at least in the case honesty and being true to oneself and others was at least observe. But being the other one when the one is young Mexican boy who is actually live on the building next to me, he is probably in this country looking for a better life and does not have his paper and he is working as waiter in SOBE and learning English.

He wants to come a visit this other person in L.A. but does not have the fund yet to afford the trip. I remember that night that my babe took me to Twilo for the first time because of my birthday. He approached me so happy to letting me know that he was my new neighbor. Now days he just say hello when we run into each other which made me ask this person if in any ways he learned of the physical atraction that encourage planning on meeting me tonight and not tell me all this until it was too late.

I see this kids and see some one innocent who want to have an illution. In my case, I might be looking for entratainment or some to conduct an estimulating conversation over dinner. It is not fair for me to measure myself up with this boy. Nor I would allow my ego to get on the way.

This other person not only can recall the last time I was being observed smoking in the balcony of my place in SOBE that weekend in which I was not only sick, but with a client that was using the possiblity of a law suite to force me to keep on flying to the Bay Area and on top of all run into my brother the next morning in MIA as I was going through security. He started to talk to me like 3 years since he last decided not to talk to me again did not remind me all that time that my family was the first one to teach me to beg for the little love someone might be willing to give me.

Then again buddy - this is me talking to you and asking you to help me keep the path that I have decided to travel since I first started to have fe in our relationship.