Buddy, here I am burning the midnight oil. I could not stop working and researching Oracles website after a friend left my place last night. Then I saw your email and my mind when on a trip in which I review my past and examine my present. I have to tell you that you are using a vocabulary that is new to me. I had to look up the word hinge in order to make sense and verified that you were talking of what I thought you were talking to me.
I remember those dreams I had back in Houston when I was working in that Oil company and I first met Kevin. I wanted to show to my father and the world that I was worth of the little love I was given. I dreamed of being someone in demand who one day will got to work in Venezuela but under an American company; I dream of companies fighting over me and paying high prices for my services; I dreamed I was going to travel the world looking for the next mount Everets; I dreamed I was going to be considered in my field as a respectatble guro in my area of expertise. The most incredible thing is that i got to do all that. I remember one time on my way back from a get together at the house of the VP in charge of Asia-Pac on what was called North Sydney. We were crosing the Harbor bridge and Sydney could not be more beautiful that night. I got my head out of the car, almost my whole upper buddy and said out load to everyone "I am the king of the World"
I will not go into specific what I have made me change my dreams. i will just describe what I consider now days a good dream. I dream of being among people who love me and value my precense in their life, just like this past weekend in Mexico. I dream of working at a client, together client team and me uncovering the secrects of Siebel Analytics. At the same time, I want to see how the team is showing me how much are their learning from me as I will always tell them when how much I learn from them. I dream I could come to care for somebody. To give my love without any expectation in return. I am not going to lie to you. That last experience in Boston a month ago, left in my heart and mind the posibility that I could care deeply for this person. Sometimes, I get scare because the same thoughts I had back in Houston come into my mind in which I make a promise to thise person of showing the world and all its wonders. I did that before and I do not want to do that any more. I just want endless night like that night we spend together in which one kiss was all I needed to give it all I got.
Those are my dreams lately. My values have changed. I am happy with what I value now days. All those dreams has come already. I am hopping I keep having them over and over again. because nothing fills my heart with more joy like the warm welcome in Mexico and what some of my friends in the USA showed me before I left; or working in Whirlpool, when together we were uncovering the secrects of Analytics; finally that weekend in Boston; my friend was so loving and caring and then that final night for which I missed my flight. I want all that over and over.
Yes I have been dreaming of all this for some time. I want them with my whole heart.
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