Buddy, your message in your note sounded to business like, you are trying to get a message to me that I know. I can not help but being hard on myself for allowing things to get to me. Then again being hard on myself, is me working against myself. Therefore, I just going to acknowledge that I have been giving it my best and keep moving in the direction that I have chosen for myself.
Now, I can tell you that you were more effective with the motivational of today. I remember how in the past I was always looking for outside factors to determine my happyness. Now days I can be in hell but still being able to laugh and share good moments with my friends. A few minutes, the thought that I induced this on me came to my mind. Yes I accept responsibility because I could have avoided it. Yes thoughts of what happens last xmas and how happy I was with so little made me realize how much I had probably was the reason why I did not stop what is happening now. Just like last xmas, I am realizing how much I have. How important I have become to the people that I have made a differences in their life. I have also realize how others can still hurt even thought I am not in my best to defend myself nor in any conditions to roll up with the punshes they are giving me.
I am not going to question that nor I will judge what is good and what is evil. Happines to me is this, to have so little but still feel I have so much. I thank you for it.
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